Angel in the Snow

Angel in the Snow

A brilliant day
Filled with winter’s bright hues
She came and laid in the snow

Tickled the air
With her shimmering laugh
That followed, wherever she’d go

Her breath, how it danced
On this cold day’s air
As she hummed her sweet little song

Not bothered by frost
Nor the lack of her playmates
The birds joined and chirped right along

Delighted by the blanket
That was laid out before her
Like a paper ready for crayon

Perfectly white,
Shimmering and glorious,
Never the same from this day on

She spread her arms,
This precious princess girl,
Rosy cheeked and giggling

Fluttering arms
Stretching up and then down
Delighting, smiling, wiggling

Her legs so busy
With their own special job
Opening and closing full stretch

Her snow pants now covered
With glistening snow,
Her movements engraved like an etch

She carefully rose
Eyes full of hope,
Would it be all that she expected?

With careful steps forward
She turned and then gazed
All that she worked for reflected.

A perfect snow angel
Lying peacefully now
Looking right at her sweet face

She beamed as she looked
So proud of the beauty
That she had brought to this place

The sun from above
Shone extra bright
A gentle wind started to stir

Up rose the flakes
From her precious snow angel
Now hidden beneath a white blur

She glared at the windsweep,
Afraid it would ruin
This most-special thing she had made

But alas right before her
An angel was smiling
As it hovered then slowly did fade

The years hurried by
And the precious girl grew
Ever to treasure that day

More than a memory
More that a girl’s dream
More than she ever could say

From that young age forward,
She’d often slip out
To treasure each new-fallen snow

A smile on her face
Through all of those years
To see the angel she’d come to know

Always there in the breeze
That lifted the flakes
A twinkling smile in her eyes

The girl, now a woman
Of many long years
With patience awaited her prize

Another brilliant day
Filled with winter’s bright hues
She came and sat by the snow

Still tickling the air
With her shimmering laugh
That followed, wherever she’d go

The angel arose
From her place in the snow
Beckoning her friend of many long years

To once again stretch out
Swing her arms and her legs,
To fight the frost-driven tears

The precious old lady
Once that giggling child
Lay down and started to wiggle

Her tired arms reaching,
Her achey legs arching
Her still lovely mouth in a giggle

Slowly she rose
And once again gazed
At the wonder she made in the snow

Her angel friend smiling
Taking her hand
Inviting her to join as she’d go

She stood for a moment,
Before it set in
The angel was taking her home.

She took courage and reached
Her mind now determined
To greet her heavenly Father Shalom

We all have our angels… dare to dream and capture your own moments.

Little Caterpillar

Little Caterpillar 

pinkbutterfly.jpg

Little Caterpillar

Little caterpillar low on the ground

Trapped on your belly, crawling around

Seeing the world from the mud down below

You scamper and scurry with so many feet

Void of direction and feeling defeat

Never thinking your destination is more than you know

You take note of the birds and ponder the sky

A soul-haunting dream – oh that you could fly

The world is so big and then there’s just one little you

Sadly you scurry –  too many directions

Surviving your minutes and lacking protection

To not get trampled or picked; to just make it through

You are tired and weary, the days are so long

Your ears are atuned to a far-away song

So high in the trees, these birds sing out your name

You ignore it forever, but weariness wins,

You climb up the tree burdened with sins

To come up and visit, to rest a while from life’s game

Knowing nothing but dirt, you start the ascent

But your poor tired body is horribly spent

Your eyes are half closed and you feel as if you’re near dead

You slip into the darkness and welcome the cave

As you leave your tomorrows, ever so brave

Now high in the tree, rest your beautiful head

The deepest of sleeps has taken you now

The world left behind you, you’ve had your last bow

But sweet dreams of freedom sing louder, calling you near

You awake to realize you are chained in this cave

You struggle to free your self – ever so brave

If only you hadn’t awoken, sleep quenched your fear

You fight and you toil pushing hard with your force

Regretting the day that you changed to this course

Is this all that there is, this bondage-filled fate?

Yet the sun bursts through in a glorious stream!

A crack in the cave wall as if in a dream

So close to breaking out that you hardly can wait.

Away falls your prison, you are free now to crawl..

But wait, what is this, you’re not crawling at all

Beautiful wings envelope you, way up in that tree!

Oh my, that you would try to soar

You lift off, take flight, you see so much more.

Your every dream fulfilled after your toil

Things look different from where you are now

Hope crowns your tomorrows, joy lifts your brow

No more life in the dirt,  you are far from the soil

Fo

Little butterfly low on the ground
Trapped on your belly, crawling around
Seeing the world from the mud down below

You scamper and scurry with hundreds of feet
Void of direction and feeling defeat
Never thinking your destination is more than you know

You take note of the birds and ponder the sky
A soul-haunting dream – oh that you could fly
The world is so big and there is just one little you

Sadly you scurry – too many directions
Surviving your minutes and lacking protection
To not get stepped on or laughed at, to just make it through

You are tired and weary, the days are so long
Your ears are atuned to a far-away song
So high in the trees, these birds sing out your name

You ignore it forever, but weariness wins,
You climb up the tree burdened with sins
To come up and visit, to rest a while from life’s game

Knowing nothing but dirt, you start the ascent
But your poor tired body is horribly spent
Your eyes are half closed and you feel as if you’re half dead

You slip into the darkness and welcome the cave
As you leave your tomorrows, ever so brave
Finally there, now rest your beautiful head

The deepest of sleeps has taken you now
The world left behind you, you’ve had your last bow
But sweet dreams of freedom sing louder, calling you near

You waken and realized you are chained in this cave
You struggle to loose your self – ever so brave
If only you hadn’t awoken, sleep quenced your fear

You fight and you toil pushing hard with your force
Regretting the day that you changed to this course
Is this all that there is, this bondage-filled fate?

Yet the sun bursts through in a glorious stream!
A crack in the cave wall as if in a dream
So close to breaking out that you hardly can wait.

Away falls your prison, you are free now to crawl..
But wait, what is this, you’re not crawling at all
Beautiful wings envelope you, way up in that tree!

Oh my that you would try to soar
You lift off, take flight, you see so much more.
Your every dream fulfilled after your toil

Things look different from where you are now
Hope crowns your tomorrows, joy lifts your brow
No more life in the dirt, you are far from the soil

from decades ago – You’re My Mom

You’re My Mom – from decades ago
This is a simple poem that I wrote for my mother many, many years ago. I am sooooooooo DYING to change things in it as there is sooooooooo much room for improvement, but the simple message that I was trying to give her of appreciation and love rings strong and so, like the frame that it sits in on her dresser in my handwriting, I will leave it and share it…

You’re My Mom

Mommies often don’t get credit
for what they say and do
Always there to care and love
and teach us what to do
How to sit and how to walk
How to act and how to talk
Up real early with breakfast for all
Curing a knee from a bicycle fall
Atttentively watching those important school plays
Rooting for their kids at their annual play days Loving kisses good-bye and kisses hello
Always ready to come and ready to go
Cleaning up messes from millions of toys
Forgetting what peace is,
surrounded by noise
Loving the smiles and drying the tears
Erasing the monsters and calming the fears
There’s a lot I could say about having a Mom
But it’s never enough because Mom…
You’re my Mom

Love you lots Mommy…

Deep deep inside yougo – ready to get real?

Deep deep inside you go – ready to get real?

Occasionally I fill out surveys. This is NOT one of them. I usually post surveys on my bulletin if I am bored. This is not here for kudos nor to show anything more than some of my heart to all of you and hope to see some of yours too.

Following is a list of probing questions that require thought and heart to fill out. Would love to read everyone’s reposted answers as you really do have ot dig deep to get to the answers (thank you Mysoulwanders for this)

whoa… deep questions

25 Deep Questions

1. What is more difficult for you, looking into someones eyes when you are telling them how you feel, or looking into someones eyes when they are telling you how they feel?

Moments of the heart never make me uncomfortable. They are to be cherished.

2. Think of the last time you were REALLY angry. WHY were you angry?
I get angry at unrighteousness. False accusations and unfairness. It is inappropriate for me to say the last time I was angry, but I was very wronged as was my child who was also dragged into the ugly situation. Neither my child nor I acted out in an angry reaction, but I discussed it with him as a life lesson. We received an apology 2 weeks later.

3. You are on a flight from Honolulu to Chicago non-stop. There is a fire in the back of the plane. You have enough time to make ONE phone call. Who do you call?

My children.

4. You are at the doctor’s office and he has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? What do you do with your remaining days? Would you be afraid?:

Spend it with my children and not tell them until the end. Tell the man I love and have that time with him also but tell him sooner so that we could have more time together. Love is too precious to let go of.

5. You can have one of the following two things. Which do you choose? Why? Love or Trust;

Trust, Because Love without trust is void.

6. You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late even once more, you are fired. Do you take the time to save the dogs life? Why or Why not?:

Save the dog. I choose to do the right things for the right reasons and let the rest fall into place.

7. You are unfaithful to your spouse/significant other. Do you tell him/her? Why or Why not?

It is hard to answer this because I have never and never would. But let me explain something. I was not faithful to my husband because I loved him, nor because he was my husband. I was faithful to him only because I took the vows before God and did not want to be unfaithful to God.. That makes things different.

8. Your best friend confesses that she has feelings for you more then just friendship. She is falling in love with you. What do you do/say?:
Really hard to say other than work through the feelings and tell him I don’t feel the same. It would alter the relationship forever though. Our heart cannot be turned on and off.

9. Think of the last person who you know that died. You have the chance to give them 1 hour of life back, but you have to give up one year of yours. Do you do it? Why or Why not?

I would give up far more than an hour to have my daddy back for a bit and just to have him touch my hand the way that he did, smile at me the way that he did, hear his voice (I dont have it even on video camera or anywhere), to hear him call me sweetpea, to laugh with him, cry with him, show him my babies, tell him how proud I am and how far I have come in life’s hard journey… what I would not give for that.

10. Are you the kind of friend that you would want to have as a
friend?

Most definitely

11. Does love = sex.

Absolutely not. (read my blog and the comments)
Making love with one that you have true love with is worth a million years of no sex. I treasure the few times that I have had had that and never ever will choose sex period. Not my choice in live to live less than with the gifts and treasures that God has for me.

13. When was the last time you told someone HONESTLY how you felt regardless of how difficult it was for you to say? Who was it? What did you have to tell the person?:

Hmmm… so many deep, difficult decisions like that in my life. Probably with my eldest daughter to encourage her with decisions that she needs to make and why she needs it. What we said though is private to her.

14. What would be (or what was) harder for you to tell a friend, you love them or that you do not love them back?

I have been the one that is not loved back and it was hard for him. I know this and yet my heart is true to its own feelings.

15. What do you think would be the hardest thing for you to give up? Why would it be hard to lose?

Thing = my faith
People – my children

16. Excluding romantic love, when was the last time you told someone you loved them? Who were they to you?

My kids today. I am blessed beyond measure and I love them with all of who I am.

18. Imagine, it is a dark night, you are alone, it is raining outside, you hear someone walking around outside your window. WHO do you wish was there with you?

“And I know that there are angels all around”. If you mean a person… then the man that makes me feel like my world is safest in his arms.

19. Would you give a homeless person CPR if they were dying? Why or Why not?

Yes. Social status should not dictate who shall live and who shall
die.

21. You are holding onto your grandmothers hand and the hand of a newborn that you do not know as they hang over the edge of a cliff. You have to let one go to save the other. Who do you let fall to their death? What was your reason for making the decision?

Both my grandma and I would know that there is a life beginning that unquestionably is the undeniable choice. But I would give up mine to save both if I could.

22. Are you old fashion?
In many ways including sex, love, morals and values.

23. When was the last time you were nice to someone and did NOT expect anything in return for it?

that is my life

24. Which would you choose, true love with a guarantee of a broken heart, or never loved at all? Why?

True Love. I have had it and would live it again for the short time that I have had it rather than to not love. The depth of vulnerability coupled with the beauty of being inside another’s soul is astounding

25. If you could do anything or wish anything, what would it be?

To effectively and continually help the broken-hearted in this world. To teach them that pain is for healing not hiding.. get through it with God’s help and live in peace and true inner joy

Sticks and Stones

Sticks and Stones

I go to bed every night with The Stones. This week they are doing things to my body that only they can do. They move me in ways that bring me to tears. I writhe from them, moan from them and scream from them. They tell me its because I really rock.

Sticks and stones
May break my bones
These demons rage inside me

Through searing pain
They torment again
Once again they’ve tried me

Jagged edges drill their way
Wreaking havoc as they play
Assaulting, charging, attacking bringing me down

Mocking laugh, heard through my cries
My world disabled as my sanity dies
This week my banner is pain and tears my crown

I think that fate was a little too attentive to me from time to time in my childhood. Like many children, one of my mantras was the infamous “sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt me.” Says who????? STONES FREAKING KILL!!!!! You put up with them as they wind their way through your body and then they go and stab you in the back. (Really, that is what it feels like.) This last one has left me the gift of now knowing what a nasty kidney infection feels like. Wow. An experience like no other.

Ok – done with my self-pity, venting session. There is a bright side to all of this.. really.. Being off my feet this ENTIRE week has given me time to write and write and write.. It is a gift to be cocooned in my bed, laptop on my belly and just have reading and writing as my only pastime. I can’t say it is like a mini vacation, but I can say that the time to read some of the awesome blogs I have come across this week and to be able to share some of my life and heart has been awesome.

Love and blessings..

Easter

His Battle

His Battle

The battle that surrounds you is of spirit, not your own
I told you it is Mine and so it is

Rest in this secret place as you worship Me alone
Give unto Him that which is His

Though demons rage and beasts abound
On Me make your weary eyes gaze

My child you stand on Holy Ground
When with angels, you sing out My praise

My victory lies in weapons fashioned not by hand
The sword of the spirit yet is prayer

The battle of Jericoh was won by a band
The enemy fled as worship filled the air

You continue your worry, concerned for tomorrow
Not trusting in My perfect strength

My children all learn that their own path brings sorrow
I’m their redeemer no matter sin’s length

So stand up equiped to war your enemy’s attack
Be still and pick up your sword

Put on praise, truth and righteousness, to cover your back
This victory won, faith’s reward

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