Bigger than Life

Daily Prompt: Too Big To Fail

by michelle w. on May 17, 2013

Tell us about something you would attempt if you were guaranteed not to fail (and tell us why you haven’t tried it yet).


Too Big to Fail

Life for the last decade or so has been challenging to me. In my younger years, I had all of the reckless confinedce that any youth would have.  I faced all that I encountered with the KNOWING that I would succeed.  I did.. In work at least.  I did, at raising my children when they were young, protecting them from the harsh reality of their home and dad that had chosen to not work, not be home, become an addict (of immense proportions) and I just worked while trying my best at keeping them all together.

Eventually, I wore down.  My energy started to fail me.  I was tired.  My marriage was, despite all the effort and hope I had put into it, worse than a disaster.  My kids were showing the signs of coming from such a destructive environment.  I left, eventually, but it was too late in so many ways.  I cannot go back in time, but I wish that I had the courage to face the things that I really need to face with faith, hope and the sense of knowing that with God, it will be ok.

I want to fix my life. I would, if I knew where to start and could know that I would not fail again.

  1. My eldest daughter.  The face of an angel, a heart of gold, she was bright, charismatic and beautiful.  I took her and her three siblings out of the house when she was twelve.. But the addiction had already started with her (at the time, I had no idea).  I would do anything to have her clean and free from the chains of our past.
  2. My youngest daughter.  Like a ray of sunshine, she lights up the room when she enters.  She is charming, bright, beautiful and witty.  I have lost her trust over the last several years.  I miss her more than words can say.
  3. My boys.. They are back on track in life.. In school and working, but I wish I could give them back the years that were so hard on them.
  4. My home.  It needs fixing (a lot) and a good top-to-bottom, which I just never have the strength or stamina to get through.  Yes, I will get through a little, but then there are the bad days and nothing gets done.  I would love for it to be like a normal home again.
  5. My health.  I want to feel better, look better, have more energy.. Or any energy for that matter.  I am tired of kidney stones constantly ravaging me and I just want to be able to function normally again.

Well, that was another “difficult to share” piece, but dang!  I promised myself that I would not compromise when I had to write and that I would write the truth.

I have faith that in time, God will lead me through it.  It just seems bigger than life to me at the moment.  I am glad that He has a plan.. especially when I can’t seem to come up with any more. 

Easter Ellen

13 Comments on “Bigger than Life

  1. Honey, our lives are paralleled in so many ways. I love you, Your favorite Auntie Lorna


    • I love you too. Thank you for following me on here. It is not easy to always speak the hard things, but it does have the benefit of at least making me keep to a promise I made myself.
      Your E


  2. Pingback: Anything Guaranteed Is Not Appreciated – It Might Even Be Illegal | The Jittery Goat

  3. WOW! You did it, you put yourself and your story out there for the world to see. The weight of the world has no doubt been lifted from your shoulders. I knew there was something we shared but couldn’t put my finger on it. I now know. We share the same marriage experiences! Pretty much identical to each other! Have the faith. God will lead you through it!


  4. Pingback: Too Big To Fail – The Best Movie of All Time | Khana's Web

    • 🙂 I still have lots of hope and lots and lots of God. It just can be harder to face some things than others at times. You have been through so much.. thank you for your encouragement.


      • Lets turn that first sentence around.
        GOD has lots of hope and lots and lots of Easter. He is not done with you!
        I can assure you…ASSURE YOU…He knows every hair on your head, He knows you by YOUR name..He knows your beginning and your end. With that being said, He already knows your tomorrow, and your days ahead.
        That is not to say it isn’t hard. But it is our worrying that makes it that way. He says to cast ALL your cares on HIM for He cares for you. Trust me, when you learn to do this, REST will come. Peace will follow. I know I sound preachy. I don’t want to. But it is true. He already knows.
        Get yourself a notebook and start writing to Him. I did. I realized He wanted a friendship with me. Now, I rely on Him more than ever. It’s a relationship He wants. My notebook is where I can write my personal feelings and its between He and I. Tell Him exactly how you feel. You will be amazed at what He shows you. There is no larger love Easter. No larger love.
        And one more thing, we all go through life experiences. Some seem more tragic/traumatic than others but no matter the insult to injury, GOD uses them all to His good. My hardship is no more/less than yours in Gods eyes. Thank Him for whatever it is He is doing in your life. Whatever it is, it will be a huge blessing. I promise you! Big big hugs! I will keep you lifted in prayer.


        • You are wonderful – thank you so much. I do manage to be thankful – and I do feel His love. I will start to write to Him though – I think that would be the right thing to do. 🙂 thank you so much.


          • No thank you necessary. God’s love is sufficient.
            I have learned in the most humbling way, you can not out love Him. And basically, LOVE is truly all he asks of us.

            I was so low…another story for another day…I felt the urge to write. I grabbed a notebook. It took a little bit of time before I even started writing. But when I did, it all came out. Hurt, anger, sadness, love, hate, all of it. It all came out over a period of several weeks. But through devotions and my bible apps. (I’m not good at reading my bible) He showed me through even those He was speaking. It WOWED me. DO IT!! God doesn’t pick and choose who he speaks to. Or loves more. It’s all going to be ok.


I love and appreciate feedback. Feel free to let me know what you think. Bless you lots, Easter Ellen

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