Yesterday was your birthday
Today is Father’s Day
How I long to kiss your cheek and see that grin you had for me as I would bounce towards you big smile, big energy, big love for you
How I long to fall asleep again like I did when I was a small child – your fingers tracing my face…
How I long to laugh with you over the the silliest things, from farts to movies to playing games with words.
How I long to see you in your cherry shorts pyjamas, old slippers, silly glasses taped up with a bandage and parka ready to go out shopping with me… Oh my gosh how you would smirk and barely hold your laughter as I was ready to die of humiliation. Yet I went with you — somewhere inside of me laughing with you and knowing that there was no dad on earth that would have made me laugh so much…
How I long to go on one of your crazy outings.. piling every neighbourhood child in the car (before the seatbelt laws) to bring us to DQ to share one or two huge giant size jugs of coke with 15 straws in it.. Man!!! how fast that coke would suck down to the bottom!!!!
How I long for the drives that we would go on – when you would ask me for directions and of course left was right, front was back and up was down!
How I long for the long bike rides with you that always ended with a milkshake…
How I long for your bedtime stories.. the ways that you would try to trick me into sleeping by telling me to pretend that I was a sleeping princess..
How I long for those “magic carpet rides”, where I saw the world through your imagination..
How I long for those hour long games of “I Spy” where you would always cheat and make sure that I knew you were cheating..
How I long for those midnight talks.. the ones that you would teach me about all that you would think was important to impart to me..
How I long to hear you tease me calling me “The Great Brain” telling me I did it again..
How I long to sit at your bedside, sometimes I had other things to do, but you always wanted me beside you when you were sick and you always made me know through and through that I was treasured and that you delighted in my presence, my opinion and my company.
How I long to look in your eyes again and remember what it felt like to be loved. Thoroughly loved. Unconditionally… no expectations, no judging, no mean comments, nothing you would use me for… just loved through and through.
I love you daddy.
I can’t wait to see you again.