The Old Man
The old man at the shooting range gave me a glance,
Nodded hello as he took on his stance
He frowned as he squinted and pointed his gun
Shot at the target and was off by just one
He scowled and examined the shot that he made
Grunting as always – a game that we played.
He swore under his breath, ugly and terse,
Hating women all over – each given a curse
“Never trust in a woman”; his usual line
“Close off your heart and then you’ll be fine
They will use you and spite you and laugh in your face
leaving you broken and left in disgrace”
“Close off your heart, they are God’s form of sin”
“They will trap you and use you – take all from within”
His face is enraged as he recounts his tales
Spewing his fury as his ired tongue flails
My heart starts to quiver as I listen again
To his sad, haunting saga, full of such pain
My heart knows full well, of that which he tells
Knows the hurt and the bitterness with which his heart swells
Is this all there is? I wonder out loud…
This man wears his hurt like a life-draining shroud.
Covering his heart in a safe concrete prison
Keeping out love, emotion and vision.
I stare at him blankly.. is this my future as well?
Living each day in my personal hell?
Will I stare in my bitterness at each blameless lady,
Accusing them, hating them, convinced that they’re shadey
I have learned to ignore that gnawing inside,
That screams of my loneliness, of wanting a bride
I have friends, I have lovers, all are just fine,
Turning off my desire for an angel that’s mine
I stare at his anger, just masking his sadness.
Hollowed out eyes that just cover his madness
I am gripped with a fear “am I going to be this”?
Will I never bask in a love-embraced kiss?
I am tearing inside as I see my tomorrows.
God tell me they wont be filled with such sorrow!
This thought is so real that my heart wants to cry.
Yet there’s safety in nothingness, so why should I try?
I rest where I am and no one comes in,
I might not have love, but I sure dont risk pain
I battle my heart with my colder, wise head
living in emptieness… ok – enough said